| nothing |
[Jan. 27th, 2008|05:33 pm] |
my page has informed me that the last time is posted was 18 weeks ago...so BOO!!!
I'm sorry to hear about your dad Sean, I hope you're doing ok. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 19th, 2007|01:48 pm] |
Serving is the type of job that slowly, but quite efficiently, sucks the life out of a person. While serving I care nothing about anything. I don't care if I have friends, I don't care if I have clean clothes, I really don't even care about eating. My one desire in life while I was serving was to escape. That's why I lived in books for the past three months and ate only one decent meal every three days. I stopped climbing, riding, and drinking. I was a shell of a person.
Luckily for me I found a new job. I now work in a greenhouse. It's bright, sunny and warm. The people are nice and I'll have a steady paycheck. I'll be able to budget again. I made good money serving, but I spent most of it on stupid shit and never saved any to pay bills, something I'm not good at anyway. At the greenhouse I do stuff on the computer, help customers, make baskets for delivery, water plants and plant plants. It's awesome. I'll have my evenings back. I can have a life again. Yeah for having a life!!! |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 16th, 2007|12:36 pm] |
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Umm...it is way to fucking hot out today. I'm trying very hard not to pout, but it's just not working. Life sucks. |
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| Hello? Hi...um.... |
[Jul. 26th, 2007|12:00 pm] |
It's been a while. So sorry the internet is just not really available to me on a regular basis, I just got the response to my last post about John and I moving in together. I agree...probably not so good of an idea. Not at all. Actually it's probably a terrible idea, and right now, 24 hours before the move happens, I'm freakin the fuck out!!
I was fine with it, prepared and even excited about it till around 6am, when I got a call from John. Apparently his ex-girlfriend showed up at his house around 430am and professed her un-dying love for him. Sweet...fucking awesome. He, thankfully, has no intention of getting back with her, but the bitch used her kid against him. Telling him of how sad he is and how much he misses John. THAT got to him. And THAT worries me. Upsets me so much in fact that I've had diarrhea every half hour since 7am, and I can't stomach any food. I can't sleep, and that's amazing, because I sleep more than any other human I know. I sleep as much as my cats. WE ALL KNOW MY EXPERIENCE WITH EX GIRLFRIENDS AND HOW I FEEL ABOUT THEM.
So what should I do? I am all packed; he is all packed. This is pushing my trust to the absolute limit, and I didn't have that much to begin with. Should I just walk away now? I want to. I don't want to risk having my heart broken again. I need a break from heartbreak. I should have stayed single, played a little bit more.
I want to but will I? Everyone who knows me well knows how stupid I am in love. I'm an idiot. A complete romantic. I do not protect myself.
Uh..oh..the bathroom is calling again. |
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| update |
[Jul. 6th, 2007|10:28 am] |
People who say they're your friends but talk shit about you constantly really, really suck! Just sayin, cause I always tend to find these things out, and maybe that's why I don't hang out too much anymore.
Anyway...
about to do something with the boy that I seem to always do way too soon. We're thinking about living together. I know, I know...it's crazy. But...this just seems to be who I am. Actually, it would be cool because I would live really close to work, and Nicki, and not out in the middle of nowhere. And I would have my baby and my kitties under one roof. And that would be cool. But, then again I'd actually have to trust someone.
(Sean, I haven't forgotten and I'm working on it, talk to you soon) |
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| mmm.... |
[Jun. 10th, 2007|07:05 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  lethargic | ] |
Some people have a very inflated opinion of themselves and their importance in my life. Just sayin....
Anyway, umm.... hmmm....what's going on.
I'm sleepy. Didn't sleep much last night.
Getting tired of working as a server and have started looking for a new job. Timings about right for that. I just need something else. Like something stable that has a pay check at the end of the week and I know exactly how much is going to be on it. But not full-time, I'm not ready for that type of commitment. I'm thinking I need to work at a bookstore. I'll stay at Red Lobster; I do make good money there.
The new boy is going well. He doesn't freak out when I freak out. He just tells me to be calm and says I don't need to test him so much. But in a very non-patrionizing way, so it's sweet, and works. When he gets angry, he gets quiet. And that works for me. |
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| Mooooon body |
[May. 31st, 2007|11:34 am] |
I've got my car back. And telling my parents about the bumber was as bad as I expected. Apparently my inablity to successfully manage money is connected to my birth control status. Now my parents keep asking if I'm having babies, and I tell them no, but they still don't believe me. It is a very bad morning when you have to wake up to a phone call from your father telling you how to budget your bills, then demanding to know if you're on birth control. I refuse to answer, especially because, well, I'm not. I hate birth control. Hate it. It takes away my sex drive completely and makes me a crazy bitch. Now I'm only a crazy bitch during the four days I'm actually bleeding. Not to mention I'm not too excited about all the negative side effects BC has, like increased chances of breast cancer. I like being in touch with my body. When I'm on BC my vagina feels like it belongs to someone else. Like all of my woman parts are disconnected from the rest of my body. I THINK IT'S COOL THAT MY BODY FOLLOWS THE SAME CYCLE AS THE MOON! Ha boys, take that.
Anyway, enough ranting about my female parts.
Toodles... |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 25th, 2007|03:33 pm] |
I miss...my Nicki. My woman. My heterosexual life mate. Talked to her for a few minutes a couple days ago and realized I haven't had an actual conversation with her in months. Like a good long one like we usually do where we discuss everything that happens in our life with amazing depth and detail. I miss her...
And I have lots and lots of things to discuss...
Anyway, I should have my car back by Monday. Which means I have to tell my mother about the bumper before Monday. And the check engine light. I think we're going to a "tropical dance" tomorrow night, so I think I'll do it there. When they'r both happy and kinda buzzed. Sounds like a good idea.
In other news, I'll be a Chuckie's house to celebrate his engagement. Hope to see lots of good people there.
Also, I beleive I've met someone I really like and care about. And ironically enough his name is John. |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 14th, 2007|03:17 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  chipper | ] |
"by, by love,
by, by happiness,
hello loneliness,
I feel like I could cry,
goodbye my love goodbye"
My car has died.
At least for another two weeks.
Which leads to my next problem...
I need to make $1000 between now and then to pay for it. So, basically I'm just completely fucked.
FUCKED!!!!
Other than that my life is fantastic :) |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 4th, 2007|03:51 pm] |
Why?
Why must ex-boyfriends pout? And flip out when you're no longer on their nuts anymore? And get all pissy and mean when you've moved on?
Come on Mikey, grown a fucking pair and actually grow up. |
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| Updates if you're bored |
[Apr. 27th, 2007|02:06 pm] |
I really believe that if you are planning on getting married, you should not ask any of your friends to be bridesmaids. Only family should get that honor. Mainly because, well, family has to put up with you when you demand everyone buy $250 dresses on the same day because the fabric has to be cut from the same thing or the world will end, nevermind the fact that I have to work. I hate being in weddings, it's expensive, the dresses always suck, and it turns my beloved friends into total nazi bitches. I can't even stand to talk to Jess right now. I'm getting to the point where I'm not even sure if I still want to be friends with her, much less be in her wedding. Seriously, when I get married. I'm getting dresses from the mall, cheap ones, and...it just won't suck. No I think my bridesmaids can wear whatever they want. I don't care if they match.
Anyway, I'm liking my new place. Although Ryan and I have completely different schedules. He goes to bed at 10:30. This is like early afternoon for me. When did I become such a night owl? My preferred bedtime is 2am at the earliest. I just usually read, but sometimes I like to stay up and do stuff. Gasp... He always gets grumpy.
We've adopted a new kitty. Actually Ryan did. His name is Smokey and he lives on our deck. He doesn't even want to come inside.
Jon and I did our little photo shoot thingy. That man is talented. I didn't really know what to expect, but it went far beyond what I thought. I thought I'd be uncomfortable, but it's so intimate, and easy to get into. The room is all black and white, except for Jon, with only one bright light. It was cool. Should have the pictures soon, there are some I can put up here.
Think I'm going to go back for my undergrad too. I'd only take me 2 and a 1/2 quaters to get my degree in anthropology. That would help with my career and grad school.
But that's about all for now.
Oh and I've started rock climbing with jon, well he climbs and I cling the wall, but I'm still sore. |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 27th, 2007|04:33 pm] |
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It seems I have knack for pissing people off. |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 23rd, 2007|12:33 am] |
I'm beginning to accept that my life will never be "normal" or "stable", as in my pursuit to find a job that fits the description, I've found the strangest yet. The key word in my life the past month has been STABILITY. I need it. I don't have it in either my social or professional life. My heart and brain are constantly stretched to the limit of my existence. Every event that happens takes me to a new level of WTF....
Seriously has anyone else's boss, after a week, referred them to a "fantastic" job opportunity outside the company, and then told them they felt like you were the little sister they never had. I mean, seriously, how do I respond to that. I just don't know what to do anymore.
Maybe that's why I've been drinking a lot. For instance, tonight at dinner I had two shots of sake, a glass of red wine, and a mixed drink with kaluha, baileys, and something else and coffee. The scary part is I actually barely felt it and was comfortable enough to drive home.
Speaking of drinking and driving, Billy got another DUI, and is now in jail. So I don't really have to worry about him being my roommate anymore.
Anyway, sorry to all the people I've been emotionally and physically unavailable to lately. I've just been exhausted.
Why should everything in my life be turned upside down at the same time, couldn't it take turns or something, at least so I can deal with things and still manage to enjoy life a bit.
ok, bed time |
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| poor little monkeys |
[Mar. 19th, 2007|08:00 pm] |
So I found out at work today that people eat monkey's brain while they're still alive. They strap them down, gage them, then eat their brain. Look it up if you don't believe me.
This makes me ashamed to be human...
On the up side, Christopher Moore is freaking hilarious. |
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| Weird stuff I think is really cool |
[Jan. 25th, 2007|04:30 pm] |
I think life would have been better for me if I'd been born a bonobo, the second closest ancestor to humans after chimpanzees.
"The species is best characterized as female-centered and egalitarian and as one that substitutes sex for aggression"....Scientific American.
If only we took after them more than the other monkeys...
Another interesting fact:
A miniature version of an earlier form of human was discovered on an island. They looked just like the big people, but only grew to the size of 3 year old. They also had sophisticated tools, which suggest their brain power wasn't weaker just because they were tiny. Cool huh?
And another:
Mutations in our genetics which cause diseases or weird stuff such as cystic fibrosis, sickle cell disease, alcohol toxicity, and dry ear wax have been around for hundreds of thousands of years in some cases. The reason evolution hasn't weeded them out is because they also have surprising benefits. Cystic fibrosis protects against diarrhea, sickle cell against malaria, alcohol toxicity-to keep from being an alcoholic and possiblly hep b, and dry ear wax causes decreased perspiration. You can see how some of these would be more important 10,000 years ago, but it's still cool. People who have the same mutant gene are actually related from the same person thousands of years ago. They use gene mutations to study population migration. They see where it started, then where it traveled too. Example: all native americans are biologically asians. They are all allergic to alcohol (although it seemed to backfire with the whole alcoholic thing, as it made them more fucked up). But biologically Native Americans are allergic to alcohol. oh and being able to drink milk is a gene mutation.
So neat. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 17th, 2007|01:05 am] |
So....I need a part-time job, evenings and weekends, to help me through the beginning of my real estate career.
Any suggestions?
I'm open to pretty much anything. I'd prefer never to work in retail again, but if that's what it comes down to...I'll do it.
I'd appreciate it if anyone has heard of any jobs recently. |
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| 16 REASON TO DATE A HORSEBACK RIDER-this is so dirty |
[Jan. 7th, 2007|02:39 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | amused | ] |
16 Reasons To Date A Horseback Rider
1. We have 4 speeds and many positions
2. We wear tight pants and tall boots
3. We love getting dirty
4. We know how to ride our mounts
5. We perform well with animals
6. We like to be in control
7. We’ll ride it for hours
8. We know how to handle a big girth
9. We get off easy
10. We’re always on top
11. We like it rough
12. We have our legs spread all day long
13. We love using whips
14. Stradling is our natural position
15. We don’t mind being bucked around
16. Endurance riders do it longer |
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| Incredibly boring sleepy stuff |
[Dec. 20th, 2006|11:53 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  sleepy | ] |
First, IS ANYTHING INTERESTING/FUN/EXCITING/WILLKEEPMEUPALLNIGHANDDRUNK HAPPENING ON NEW YEARS EVE!!!!?????!!!!!
Ok, on to the mundane.
I just ordered my Christmas presents from Mikey. I got full seat breeches and suede half chaps. Two things I've wanted a long time and could never afford them or justify buying them, but I ride fairly often now. Speaking of, I rode Levi tonight. It was a lot of fun and a good ride. I hope I didn't break him. He just got off his pain killers last week for his arthritis. I'm always afraid I'm going to break other people's horses when I ride them. I can't wait to own a house all my own.
Ice, Ice, Baby is playing very, very, loudly outside. Usually I can just hear the bass, but tonight, it's loud enough to hear all the words. Hmm...living in a bar district is so annoying sometimes.
Philip keeps running around the house and meowing at weird things, like the fireplace and people outside. Amber keeps trying to catch the little mouse on the screen. She loves when we get on the computer. Philip has the cutest sneeze I've ever heard and Amber poops a lot. And I mean often. But she's a cuddle bug big time. They completely ignore the hundred dollar scratching tree house we bought for them. They might not play on it though because it's in the hallway and they only hang out in the bedroom and the living room. Perhaps I should move it...
So, we're officially finished with all our Christmas shopping. Most of the presents we bought were from Kohls and Barnes and Knoble. Interesting...
Not really.
I'm starting to get very sleepy. And loopy.
Mikey is going to be santa and my dad's family's party. Ha Ha. I'm an evil, evil girlfriend.
Alright then, maybe people can come over friday night because we haven't had people over in a while. If anyone would be interested in that give me a hollar (I sound so silly when I try to use slang, but I'm doing it anyway).
I hope everyone is having a less exhausting holiday season than I.
And let me know about New Years Eve. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 11th, 2006|09:10 pm] |
Mikey and I are going out Friday night and getting completely fucked up and trashed. Anyone wishes to join us? It'll probably be down here in main strasse.
COME DRINK WITH US!!!! |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 10th, 2006|12:28 am] |
I am bored....
God send me a social life.
It's all I want for Christmas. |
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lethegoodtimes's journal
mischievous